← Weekly Insights · July 27, 2026
Behind the note that came home
A child with ADHD is flagged for bad words and a shove at recess. The note says what happened — never why. Here's what was likely going on, and what could have helped.
An illustrative, composite scenario — not a real named incident. Educational content only; not medical or legal advice. For diagnosis or support, consult qualified professionals.
Ten-year-old “Sam” has mild ADHD. On Thursday, a note comes home: during recess he swore and shoved another child. The note is factual and calm — it lists the behaviour, the consequence, and asks parents to “have a conversation at home.”
Everything in that note is about what happened. Nothing in it asks why. And in most of these moments, the why is the whole story.
Behaviour is communication
In early-childhood practice we start simple: a child’s behaviour is a message, not a character flaw. A ten-year-old who swears and shoves is rarely “being bad” — he’s usually a child whose regulation ran out before his words could catch up.
What was likely really going on
Transition overload
Moving from a structured lesson to loud, fast recess is one of the hardest shifts of the day for an ADHD brain.
Sensory flood
Noise, movement and jostling can tip a child from managing to overwhelmed in seconds — the shove is a body reacting.
Depleted self-control
By late morning the effort of holding it together all day is spent. The swearing is a regulation tank hitting empty.
What could have helped
Reggio Emilia: the environment as teacher
See the child as capable and adjust the setting. A calmer entry to recess, a quiet corner, a trusted adult nearby.
Montessori: freedom within limits
Predictable structure and real choices lower the pressure and give control back before overwhelm builds.
Early-childhood practice: regulate first, teach second
An overwhelmed child can’t problem-solve. Co-regulate first, then teach the words and the repair.
Try this at home & school
- Ask “what happened right before?” before deciding what the behaviour meant.
- Build a gentler on-ramp to recess: a warning, a job, or a calmer start.
- Offer a pre-agreed exit before overwhelm peaks.
- Teach the words for “I’m done” during calm moments.
- Repair after regulating: name it, make it right, move on — without shame.
Every behaviour has a reason.
If you're supporting a child like this, our neurodiversity strategies and free guides are a good next step — or send us your situation.
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